The worst part of the winter is now over and now it's becoming more and more like spring each day. The weatherman on the Tv is always calling for colder weather coming. Somehow, I don't think that'll be happening anymore. This year is the year of changes. At least it is for me. It's the first year I actually start anew. It's my reinventing year and a year of actually making a name for myself. I actually don't care how hard it gets from here on in. I've lived through worse and now that it's over, I can see what I'm supposed to be doing and not having to be dragged by dead weight.
I've finished a section of my new book. For some reason I got hit with a rush of "The Urge" and I'm trying to see how long it will last. The title of it is pretty much set and it actually fits perfectly. I think once I've got this book out of the way, I talk more about the original project and how it actually got to this point. Besides, if you've been paying attention to my blogs for the last few months then you know what this book is for and what exactly I'm planning to do.
But moving on beyond that, I've been asked about a new poem. It's funny when people ask me when I'm going to post again. The truth is, I don't ever really know. Right now, it's 8:26 A.M. and for some strange reason, I am very much in the mood to create something. There was a thought I had a while ago about this vivid day-dream I have. Perhaps if I just wrote it down I wouldn't have it anymore. So that's what I intend to do.
Danzer...this one's for you.
Colored light brightening the hall
taking the shapes of the memories
etteched into the aged glass.
The room so filled with peace
the silence is thunderous.
The wooden seats all empty
and the robed speaker long gone.
A symbol of love and protection
hangs from the pale ceiling,
the figure on it in much pain
and though he shows it on his face
never in a million moons
will he ever feel it.
Below him kneels a figure
silhouetted by the darkness of the clothes he wears.
By his side, a rememberance of the oath he swore long ago.
Time has not been kind to it nor him.
As it has aged, so has his will to honor a promise
he made long ago
before the very figure above him.
The expression on his face
could speak the words of a thousand books
and could never express enough of what he's seen.
Without a word
he speaks to the figure which gave him
the strength and the will
to do as he has done for so many years.
Now,
in a room filled with the sounds
of souls long forgotten
and thoughts left unspoken,
he makes one last request
of a father he never met in person
but walked with all his life.
He reaches for the burden at his side
and casts it in front of him.
A promise is now broken,
the weight on a mind now removed.
The echoing clatter fills the hall.
Ringing forever in his mind.
Nothing left for him to carry
except the memories in his heart.
They do not clatter
like steel and stone.
They will linger
as a scar for all time.
Until next time.
© Archangel 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Forgetting the moon
I haven't posted in a while and friends of mine have been wondering why. I guess I can blame it on the moon. I've seen it in a while nor have I stopped to look and wonder as I used to. That personal connection that I had with it feels like it's no longer there. That muse that would fuel my soul doesn't feel like it's calling anymore. Perhaps my muse is something else that I have yet to find or perhaps my "gift" is slowly fading into a world I haven't dreamed about yet. Whatever the case may be, I feel myself slipping.
It used to be that anger willed my poetry sometimes. Thinking of the people I hate the most and channeling it into something useful was easy at the time, but now that I'm letting go, it's getting hard to stay angry. Maybe that's just my "Archangel" within me talking and I'm just not the kind of person to hold a grudge forever, but right now, I don't feel like being angry.
Right now, I feel like writing something happy for a change. Something that will make people see a side of me that is rarely seen. A side that feels strongly for people no matter who they are, no matter what they've done to me or others, no matter where they come from, or what they look like. A poem dedicated to all people. I offer to all of you reading, a glimps into the mind of Archangel when he's at peace.
Beyond the asphalt covered former paths,
Above the highest tips of the sentinals that block the eastern and western sun,
into the mountains of long forgotten stories and dreams
is where those who seek peace often go
to lose themselves in life.
Deep in the darkest and dimmest of places
among jade leaved trees and amber lit grass,
which crisp sound bring the thoughts of spring,
the birds welcome the presence of an angel
wondering through the world
looking for a quiet spot to rest his mind.
Down shall he lay his burrdens
and wonders of the world he leaves behind.
His eyes to the Heavens above him
as he glaces through the peaks the trees give him.
The wind,
so cool against the warmth of his heart
whispers secrets through the trees
to tell him that this is how life should be.
On the wings of birds should our troubles fly.
Let them take them far away to places we may never see.
Rest your wings within the comfort of spring.
In the distance flows the essence of life.
Never does it need reason to do as it does,
never does it ask permission to move as it will.
Oh the questions we could answer by finally
closing our eyes and opening our minds and hearts
to the sounds of angels resting in the grass.
Only they can hear that peace still exists.
Only they will tell you how to find it.
© 2008 Archangel
It used to be that anger willed my poetry sometimes. Thinking of the people I hate the most and channeling it into something useful was easy at the time, but now that I'm letting go, it's getting hard to stay angry. Maybe that's just my "Archangel" within me talking and I'm just not the kind of person to hold a grudge forever, but right now, I don't feel like being angry.
Right now, I feel like writing something happy for a change. Something that will make people see a side of me that is rarely seen. A side that feels strongly for people no matter who they are, no matter what they've done to me or others, no matter where they come from, or what they look like. A poem dedicated to all people. I offer to all of you reading, a glimps into the mind of Archangel when he's at peace.
Beyond the asphalt covered former paths,
Above the highest tips of the sentinals that block the eastern and western sun,
into the mountains of long forgotten stories and dreams
is where those who seek peace often go
to lose themselves in life.
Deep in the darkest and dimmest of places
among jade leaved trees and amber lit grass,
which crisp sound bring the thoughts of spring,
the birds welcome the presence of an angel
wondering through the world
looking for a quiet spot to rest his mind.
Down shall he lay his burrdens
and wonders of the world he leaves behind.
His eyes to the Heavens above him
as he glaces through the peaks the trees give him.
The wind,
so cool against the warmth of his heart
whispers secrets through the trees
to tell him that this is how life should be.
On the wings of birds should our troubles fly.
Let them take them far away to places we may never see.
Rest your wings within the comfort of spring.
In the distance flows the essence of life.
Never does it need reason to do as it does,
never does it ask permission to move as it will.
Oh the questions we could answer by finally
closing our eyes and opening our minds and hearts
to the sounds of angels resting in the grass.
Only they can hear that peace still exists.
Only they will tell you how to find it.
© 2008 Archangel
Thursday, January 10, 2008
5 Minutes til the New Year
The streets are lined
with smiling faces
and though they bring with them
the sense of joy
and sense of hope
I find none in my heart
without you by my side.
Soldier of this nation,
knight of my honor,
angel of my soul,
how I miss you so
and long for you to stand with me
as you stand with those
who fight along with you.
As the morn
of the new year approches
I sit here at my desk
and wonder if someone will knock at my door
to rescue me from this solitude
of loveless evenings without you.
I pray that person is you.
And now
they have started to count in the streets
and I will watch them from my window
as they cheer
and celebrate one more year.
I, instead, will sit here and wait.
Wait for you to bring yourself
and the essence of the places you've been
with you.
Blasts in the distance
tell me the time has come and gone.
Blasts that strike more fear to you
than they do to me.
But somehow,
I sit here and feel...
like you're no longer here...
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Seven Minutes after Midnight
A shadow darker than the night
fills the empty space
in this foriegn ground
where I write to you.
fills the empty space
in this foriegn ground
where I write to you.
By the light of a blessed moon
I take pen to paper and write you
one last letter...
One last letter
before the words which I speak
only though pen and paper,
sent by the uncaring will
of a soldier,
will be given to you by the person
whos heart writes them so.
Now as the breeze blows
it sends me the essence of you.
Your spirit from a home so far away
fills me with joy
that I will see you soon.
If I could only tell you
the things that I have seen,
the places I have been,
and the lives which have passed
through my life
and into the next,
some by my hands,
I sware to you, my love,
you would share the emptiness I feel
right now.
There is gunfire in the distance.
Though they tell us the war is over,
to those who fight it,
the pawns and the knights,
we know that war never ends.
It just stops
and waits to start again.
The words escape me
as to explain to you further.
True love has no words
to describe or to explain.
And so, I will end this letter
on a promise.
A promise that when the sun rises
I will count the seconds,
the minutes, the hours,
of when it will be time to see you again.
I pray for seas of glass,
winds of calm,
and starlight so bright
I could trace the path to our home
with a finger in the sky.
And with no more words,
I say...
New Beginning...
...to and old story.
Happy new year to everyone who has patiently waited my return. I hope that everyone's holidays were a blessing and that this new year is prosperous for us all. A new year for me means new material, new dreams, more work on my stories, and, of course, new poems.
I have been saving the energy to write this new poem for afew days now. I didn't get the inspiriation for writing it 'til a couple of days after the new year. After that, I let it linger inside of me and let the story build. When I finally finished it in my head, I realize that it was not really much of a story, but more of a love letter. Two love letters to be exact.
While I'm not known for my love poems, I do have a huge heart big enough to write them. But for anyone who's ever been in love, you know that some poems can be all the same and some can miss the point of love altogether.
Today, I'll give you something that's real on so many levels and you can decide if the love that was meant to be in it, was expressed the right way. It's a story written in two parts and the first starts with a soldier. I'll leave you, my fans, to read the rest.
I must give a thank you to the person who gave me the inspiration. Much like most of my friends and fans, he comes from far away and tells me that I should take my place among the pantheon of writers. I don't know about that, but I do know that I will keep doing what I'm doing even if I'm never recognized. For those of you who frequent my blog and those who are writers yourselves, you know that it better to be discovered from the many by many, than to waste an eternity trying to be recognized. Thanks, Tomas.
With that, I give you... Seven Minutes after Midnight.
Happy new year to everyone who has patiently waited my return. I hope that everyone's holidays were a blessing and that this new year is prosperous for us all. A new year for me means new material, new dreams, more work on my stories, and, of course, new poems.
I have been saving the energy to write this new poem for afew days now. I didn't get the inspiriation for writing it 'til a couple of days after the new year. After that, I let it linger inside of me and let the story build. When I finally finished it in my head, I realize that it was not really much of a story, but more of a love letter. Two love letters to be exact.
While I'm not known for my love poems, I do have a huge heart big enough to write them. But for anyone who's ever been in love, you know that some poems can be all the same and some can miss the point of love altogether.
Today, I'll give you something that's real on so many levels and you can decide if the love that was meant to be in it, was expressed the right way. It's a story written in two parts and the first starts with a soldier. I'll leave you, my fans, to read the rest.
I must give a thank you to the person who gave me the inspiration. Much like most of my friends and fans, he comes from far away and tells me that I should take my place among the pantheon of writers. I don't know about that, but I do know that I will keep doing what I'm doing even if I'm never recognized. For those of you who frequent my blog and those who are writers yourselves, you know that it better to be discovered from the many by many, than to waste an eternity trying to be recognized. Thanks, Tomas.
With that, I give you... Seven Minutes after Midnight.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Digital Love
A while back I remember writing something about love. I don't think I've ever posted it anywhere as it was just an essay that came to mind. Now that I look back on it, I was right about a lot of things in that essay that I never stopped to actually think about. That's pretty much me, right there. Writing stuff down and never thinking what exactly I'm trying to say or what I've said.
The essay was basically talking about how people use the term "I love you" too loosely. As a race of beings that need to have some sort of sociality in order to survive, we long to have something closer than close friendships. We yearn to have that one person that belongs to us. Well, not really belong to us, but the person who we can say we share similar feelings with and not just on a sexual level. Though sex is a vital part in some relationships, there are some people that don't thrive on it. The act of just tactile contact in a non-sexual way can be more powerful than any form of sexual innuendo. Holding someone's hand can have more love than getting off on someone.
It's this form of love that seems to have left people in this digital age. With so many forms of communication available to us, we no longer have to go to physical places in order to strike a conversation with a complete stranger. Due to the technological revolution that we call the internet, we have a vast number of places where we are allowed to communicate with not only people who live near us, but also places that we may have never been too or probably never even heard of. However, if you've not heard the name of each major country in your life at least once, I highly recommend that you read a map before you actually start talking on the internet. It might give you a little help as to knowing where the person you're talking to comes from. And it might help you to avoid asking that ice breaker question "So how's the weather there?”
But along with all this communication comes the fact that people will and do fall in love with people whom they start talking to in this digital divide. It's not to say that people don't actually have working relationships on the internet that can still hold strong once people decide that they actually want to meet each other in person. But people who are not experience in what exactly "love" is will fall victim to a trap that is as old as the internet it self.
The internet allows us to throw up a person shield that we can chose to either put up or down. We can create a personality that doesn't have to be real or put our lives out in the digital open to see if we find people that find us interesting. It is at that point when we finally find people who wish to communicate with us and begin some sort of online friendship where we find ourselves the most fragile. Those who are poor judges of character out in the real world will find that the digital world is just as hard if not extremely harder since the only thing that we can see about the person we're talking to is the words on a screen. Even those who have web cams can't be the person they say they are.
Perhaps we take a chance and we get to know these people who find us interesting and, depending on your sexual preference, you find yourself strangely attracted to the person you're talking to. The lines of old start to come into play: "I've never met a person like you before in my life." , "When ever I talk to you I feel so much better." , "I trust you more than I trust anyone I know." , "I can't live without you." (and just when you thought the usually cheesy come-on lines couldn't get any worse, they use the dreaded) "I love you."
Sometimes, and I say sometimes because it doesn't always happen, where people actually say these lines and they turn out to be whole hearted about what they are saying and the friendships do blossom out to be more than just friendships. But for those people who fail to see beyond the shadow or the mask of the person they're talking to, they don't realize what form of attraction they actually have with the person on the other side.
This is not a physical attraction but merely an emotional attraction. People long to be with people who are either like the, different than them, or make them feel something that they've never felt before. This is a vulnerability that everyone has. Even the anti-social socialists in this world have this in their lives. They long to find someone who has the same "God complex" as they do so they can rule the world together. Some people fail to understand this play of emotions and when they finally discover who the person is behind the mask, the person in love is destroyed. Left with a spot in their heart and mind so cold that they either long for a replacement of that feeling with someone else or they build up an anger of hatred for the person who hurt them.
This non-understanding of this emotional attraction has hurt so many people. At some point the attracted person needs to ask themselves, how do I love this person if I can't see them or touch them?
I used to say that love transcends all boarders and that if love is actually real and is heartfelt, then long distance relationships truly can work. I still believe that even after all that has happened to me in the last few years. Whether it be friendships or relationships between a man and a woman, woman or woman, man or man, it is all the same. If you can't understand what you're feeling for the person on the other computer, you need to step back and learn more about them. A mask is never the real face, it's always to hide something.
The essay was basically talking about how people use the term "I love you" too loosely. As a race of beings that need to have some sort of sociality in order to survive, we long to have something closer than close friendships. We yearn to have that one person that belongs to us. Well, not really belong to us, but the person who we can say we share similar feelings with and not just on a sexual level. Though sex is a vital part in some relationships, there are some people that don't thrive on it. The act of just tactile contact in a non-sexual way can be more powerful than any form of sexual innuendo. Holding someone's hand can have more love than getting off on someone.
It's this form of love that seems to have left people in this digital age. With so many forms of communication available to us, we no longer have to go to physical places in order to strike a conversation with a complete stranger. Due to the technological revolution that we call the internet, we have a vast number of places where we are allowed to communicate with not only people who live near us, but also places that we may have never been too or probably never even heard of. However, if you've not heard the name of each major country in your life at least once, I highly recommend that you read a map before you actually start talking on the internet. It might give you a little help as to knowing where the person you're talking to comes from. And it might help you to avoid asking that ice breaker question "So how's the weather there?”
But along with all this communication comes the fact that people will and do fall in love with people whom they start talking to in this digital divide. It's not to say that people don't actually have working relationships on the internet that can still hold strong once people decide that they actually want to meet each other in person. But people who are not experience in what exactly "love" is will fall victim to a trap that is as old as the internet it self.
The internet allows us to throw up a person shield that we can chose to either put up or down. We can create a personality that doesn't have to be real or put our lives out in the digital open to see if we find people that find us interesting. It is at that point when we finally find people who wish to communicate with us and begin some sort of online friendship where we find ourselves the most fragile. Those who are poor judges of character out in the real world will find that the digital world is just as hard if not extremely harder since the only thing that we can see about the person we're talking to is the words on a screen. Even those who have web cams can't be the person they say they are.
Perhaps we take a chance and we get to know these people who find us interesting and, depending on your sexual preference, you find yourself strangely attracted to the person you're talking to. The lines of old start to come into play: "I've never met a person like you before in my life." , "When ever I talk to you I feel so much better." , "I trust you more than I trust anyone I know." , "I can't live without you." (and just when you thought the usually cheesy come-on lines couldn't get any worse, they use the dreaded) "I love you."
Sometimes, and I say sometimes because it doesn't always happen, where people actually say these lines and they turn out to be whole hearted about what they are saying and the friendships do blossom out to be more than just friendships. But for those people who fail to see beyond the shadow or the mask of the person they're talking to, they don't realize what form of attraction they actually have with the person on the other side.
This is not a physical attraction but merely an emotional attraction. People long to be with people who are either like the, different than them, or make them feel something that they've never felt before. This is a vulnerability that everyone has. Even the anti-social socialists in this world have this in their lives. They long to find someone who has the same "God complex" as they do so they can rule the world together. Some people fail to understand this play of emotions and when they finally discover who the person is behind the mask, the person in love is destroyed. Left with a spot in their heart and mind so cold that they either long for a replacement of that feeling with someone else or they build up an anger of hatred for the person who hurt them.
This non-understanding of this emotional attraction has hurt so many people. At some point the attracted person needs to ask themselves, how do I love this person if I can't see them or touch them?
I used to say that love transcends all boarders and that if love is actually real and is heartfelt, then long distance relationships truly can work. I still believe that even after all that has happened to me in the last few years. Whether it be friendships or relationships between a man and a woman, woman or woman, man or man, it is all the same. If you can't understand what you're feeling for the person on the other computer, you need to step back and learn more about them. A mask is never the real face, it's always to hide something.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
On second thought...
Maybe this song does have a use right now after all. I suggest you find the song first that way this poem will have much more meaning.
The endless field
of a farm he had never asked
to see or live on.
The wave of green
that moves in the wind
so gentle as his mother's touch.
Why does he long to leave serenity?
Why does he hope to one day be gone
from the place that so many days
had brought him happiness?
He rushes through field
hoping to find the answers
to a question that's buring in his heart.
The leaves slap and the cut
yet he moves on.
He trips and and falls.
The ground scrapes his legs
and cuts his face
yet he moves on.
The sun shows him the way
and he follows it
as if it were the last trail
in his life he would ever follow.
Now is the end.
The path he can no longer follow
because the land has ended.
The ravine below
as empty as his heart
and now he asks...
WHEN WILL BE MY TIME!?
©Archangel
The endless field
of a farm he had never asked
to see or live on.
The wave of green
that moves in the wind
so gentle as his mother's touch.
Why does he long to leave serenity?
Why does he hope to one day be gone
from the place that so many days
had brought him happiness?
He rushes through field
hoping to find the answers
to a question that's buring in his heart.
The leaves slap and the cut
yet he moves on.
He trips and and falls.
The ground scrapes his legs
and cuts his face
yet he moves on.
The sun shows him the way
and he follows it
as if it were the last trail
in his life he would ever follow.
Now is the end.
The path he can no longer follow
because the land has ended.
The ravine below
as empty as his heart
and now he asks...
WHEN WILL BE MY TIME!?
©Archangel
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