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Showing posts with label remember. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remember. Show all posts

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Remember Me When the Ink Fades

Maybe it’s the writer in me that is always coming up with the scenes in my head that look like scenes from movies I might have seen before, but I don’t think of it as a bad thing. They might come in handy one day when I need a visual image.

One that sticks out the most is the opening scene to a movie about me. You see, life in itself a huge movie that we’re constantly writing the script for someone else to read one day. The writers of the world have the major advantage because we’re actually keeping notes.

My movie opens up like this…

The sky is mostly clear with the presence of several puffy clouds trying desperately to climb higher but to no avail.

On a paved road, in between two fields of freshly plowed land, drives a black, sports-car with the top down. The leather interior is completely untouched by age. The two-seat car has room for the driver, a young man with black hair, sunglasses to hide his deep brown eyes, casually dressed, with a smile on his face as if he’s driving towards a destination he’s been waiting to get to his whole life.

And in the passenger seat is a leather bound notebook. It’s the only companion he’s taken with him that has never left his side and was always willing to hear his side of the story at a moment’s notice.

In front of them, the road is leading straight to a major city. Skyscrapers are few, highways are clearly visible, and it’s free of memories he’d rather leave behind.

The driver reaches to the center of the dash and clicks on the radio and it begins to play “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart. He takes one look over to the book on his right, then to the road in front of him. A grin crosses his face as the camera leaves him and watches the car drive off in the direction of the city.

The song continues to play and the title “As He Once Wrote” appears on the screen.

You can use your imagination as who you could see playing me. I haven’t really gotten that far in my fantasy. Besides, I’m only 24. I’ve not written anything worth while that people would actually remember me for. And even if I had, it would still be one short script.

I’m pretty sure it’s healthy to imaging myself being a great writer one day. I’m sure that even if I don’t make millions of dollars, which writer’s usually never do, I will have gotten the one thing that every writer wants. Immortality. The ability to transcend generation after generation. When the story we tell is just as powerful or as meaningful as the day it was published and read for the very first time.

Even if I write a horrible story, I want to write the most horrible story that was ever written. Why? Because you will still be speaking my name long after I’m gone as the example of how not to write a book. It doesn’t matter if the book was any good, the point is to never be forgotten.

Maybe that’s what I’ve been trying to do all my life. I’ve met people from all over the world and have made friends in all corners of the globe thanks to the Internet. Most of those people know that I write. Whether they think I’m a good or great writer is still up to them but they know that much about me. Perhaps it’s my talent that is asking that I don’t let myself go to waste by not using it to create something that will leave my mark on the world? It’s the essence of every writer to write something great. Great enough that he’ll get his name noticed just once and that would be sufficient for him. But that’s not what I want for me.

I want my writings to make people stop and wonder. Wonder if how they always thought of something is the way they should keep thinking about it after they’ve read the words I’ve written. Where I can challenge the thoughts of millions and reach those would would say, “Archangel wrote ‘(insert future quoted text here)’ and now people stop and wonder if that’s the way things should be.”

THAT’S WHAT I WANT! I said to myself a long time ago that I wasn’t going to do this for the money. While money can buy me the things that I need and the short term wants, it will never fill the void in my soul that needs to be place by the thing that I feel I need to do with this life. My very existence needs to be validated by someone other than those who can physically see me or talk to me. I need the validation from the people who haven’t met me but have read my works. My soul cries out for them to read the words I pen and remember who it was that wrote them.

Money will never buy my destiny.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Easy to forget

My appologies to those who've been reading my blog and wondering what happened to me. I haven't forgotten about my blog. I've just been concentrating on my latest book since it seems to help me focus alot. All those bright sayings that I have about writing I actually do use. Took be long enough to learn them all and figure them out, but now that I've got them down I actually use them on a daily basis.

About the title of this blog, I actually came to the realization about something the other day. I was talking to someone from overseas who just recently lost a baby in the family just as I did a long time ago. It got me thinking about how long my baby brother, Alex, has been passed on. It's easy to forget that we take a part of them with us once they're gone. They linger in our souls so that we never lose track of what we had. I don't think there is one day when I don't have his name cross my mind. While it's a little bit easier to deal with now that it's been years, that part lingers on and I don't really ever want it to go away.

Why talk about this? Of course I've got a poem for you, people. And for the first time, I dedicate this one to my new friend. May you soon find peace in your life as I did. This one's for you, Ashton... and you too Aaron.

Tell Her
Tell my love
she means the world to me.
The stars in the sky twinkle for her
and for the rest of our lives that's where they'll be.

Tell my brothers
we well always have the baseball field.
The place we grew up and lost ourselves in a game.
Remind them of the time I hit that home run, lost the ball for us all,
but hoped the hit made that ball tame.

Tell my father
I love him very much.
Tell him good-bye with a handshake.
Tell him not of where I am.
When he hears the news, our fishing boat and his heart will sink.

Tell my friends
I can feel them with me.
Their strength, their love, their prayers, their tears.
Comfort them with the fact that when I get to where I'm going
I will meet them there so there will be no fears.

Tell my mother
I saw an angel before I died.
Tell her she cradled me in her arms the way you held me the day you let
me see the light and the beauty of your heart through your eyes.

Tell her,
the angels touch was nothing compared to hers.
It will never compare to the way you held me when I cried or when I
slept on the couch past my bedtime watching TV with her.
My God, tell her that I wish to be there now.

Tell her,
I smell the flower in the distance.
Tell her I can smell the roses she told me to stop and smell when I
moved too fast. Tell her, I can see the one she picked for me to give my
love. Tell her, because of the thorn she left, I got to hold my love's hand
for the first time.

But tell them all,
tell them in in words only you can tell,
that the angels I see now don't compare to the ones I leave behind.

Tell my brothers, I see our field of dreams.
Tell my love, I see her wedding dress.
Tell my father, I see the fish we caught.
But tell my mother, I saw an angel before I died.
Tell her, I got to see her face one last time.


Until next time.