I'm sort of getting tired of these late night urges to write. Not that they're annoying, but it's just the fact that they only seem to happen at night when I really want nothing else to do but to go to sleep. Why is it that they only happen then I'm not sure, but I do know that it's always been this way. So to those of you who have the same problem I'm having, you're not alone.
I haven't meditated so I have no briliant sayings for today. Just as I woke from my interrupted sleep I thought of something that sounded good though. I was watching the president talking on TV the other day and heard him say that he was going to start bringing troops home. I started wondering about that over the course of these past couple of days and now it's just finally hitting me. Once you've been through something like that, can you ever really come home? Are you ever really these same after you've spent part of your life seeing things like what is going on over there? I have complete respect for the men and women who served there time and are still serving there time overseas. I know in my heart I couldn't do half the things that the government is asking them to do.
The new question I will ask myself over the course of the next few months is "Once it's all over, can you ever really let go of it all? Will I truely ever be completely over what has happened?"
Who knows...
Until next time.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
"Forgive those you love....
even when they don't love you anymore."
I just learned that mantra today. There are times when I'm meditating that I learn things in my mind that make so much sense that I wonder where in the hell I come up with these things. I guess with all the stuff that I've seen people go through over the last few years of my life and now with the stuff I've had to deal with, the more mantras that can take some of the pain away and make me realize that I still have the whole world ahead of me, the better.
Someone asked me why it was I titled my last blog the way I did. The truth is, that's basically how it all started. Only, it wasn't with a notebook. It was actually just a bunch of sheets of paper that I wasn't using, a computer desk that didn't have a computer, and an old desk lamp. I was about 12 or 13 when I realized I was gonna be a writer. It happened one night while I was watching something on tv. It was really late at night and I got the urge to get up and write something. About five minutes later, I had the beginning of a story that has been morphing til this day. I've changed it so much that I think it will ultimately be the story that I get right. I get the spritit to work on it from time to time, but I haven't done it for a while.
Looking back on that night now, I wonder why it was I got that urge. Never before then had I expressed an interest in writing, however I loved to read. The librarian at my middle school had to kick me out of the library all the time so that he could go home. But if I think further back on it, I started writing in 5th grade, but I never thought anything of it. So I guess the ability was always there, just not the reasoning as to why I was doing it.
I got out of bed to write this blog because I got that urge again. The feeling that my day would not be complete if I didn't get the thoughts out of my head. At the end of the day, I often get that feeling, but I never put it to go use. Maybe if I did, more of the books that I've been planning to finish would be done by now. Call it the traits of a gemini, but that's just me.
There was something important that I wanted to write about tonight now that I'm up. Now that I'm sitting in my chair with the light from my desk lamp and the light from my monitor, I don't really want to write anything anymore. The urge has come and gone. The oject that was on my mind is no longer the focal point and I could probably dream about it and get it over with.
But for those of you who just have to know what it is exactly I'm wondering about, I'll just leave you with this. As time goes on, you realize how stupid mistakes can be and you wonder if they happened for a reason. As I look back at the ones I have made, I think there was a real good reason for them to have happened. I'll ellaborate more tomorrow. I just had to get my thoughts out tonight.
Until next time.
I just learned that mantra today. There are times when I'm meditating that I learn things in my mind that make so much sense that I wonder where in the hell I come up with these things. I guess with all the stuff that I've seen people go through over the last few years of my life and now with the stuff I've had to deal with, the more mantras that can take some of the pain away and make me realize that I still have the whole world ahead of me, the better.
Someone asked me why it was I titled my last blog the way I did. The truth is, that's basically how it all started. Only, it wasn't with a notebook. It was actually just a bunch of sheets of paper that I wasn't using, a computer desk that didn't have a computer, and an old desk lamp. I was about 12 or 13 when I realized I was gonna be a writer. It happened one night while I was watching something on tv. It was really late at night and I got the urge to get up and write something. About five minutes later, I had the beginning of a story that has been morphing til this day. I've changed it so much that I think it will ultimately be the story that I get right. I get the spritit to work on it from time to time, but I haven't done it for a while.
Looking back on that night now, I wonder why it was I got that urge. Never before then had I expressed an interest in writing, however I loved to read. The librarian at my middle school had to kick me out of the library all the time so that he could go home. But if I think further back on it, I started writing in 5th grade, but I never thought anything of it. So I guess the ability was always there, just not the reasoning as to why I was doing it.
I got out of bed to write this blog because I got that urge again. The feeling that my day would not be complete if I didn't get the thoughts out of my head. At the end of the day, I often get that feeling, but I never put it to go use. Maybe if I did, more of the books that I've been planning to finish would be done by now. Call it the traits of a gemini, but that's just me.
There was something important that I wanted to write about tonight now that I'm up. Now that I'm sitting in my chair with the light from my desk lamp and the light from my monitor, I don't really want to write anything anymore. The urge has come and gone. The oject that was on my mind is no longer the focal point and I could probably dream about it and get it over with.
But for those of you who just have to know what it is exactly I'm wondering about, I'll just leave you with this. As time goes on, you realize how stupid mistakes can be and you wonder if they happened for a reason. As I look back at the ones I have made, I think there was a real good reason for them to have happened. I'll ellaborate more tomorrow. I just had to get my thoughts out tonight.
Until next time.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
It all started with a notebook...
Wow... How strange it is to be writing a blog all over again. I used to have a blog over at myspace, but somehow the glitz and glamour of the whole "myspace era" has finally ended for me. Maybe it had something to do with some of the people I know on their or maybe I just finally grew up. While I'm not saying that older people who use myspace are acting anything but their age, I am saying that the fad is finally dying.
I guess I should introduce myself the proper way. My name is Archangel. Yes, I know that sounds strange for a person to be calling himself something of an angelic nature, but if it was completely strange then we wouldn't name our own children "Angel" and then later realize they are nothing of the sort. Trust me, I've known a few children who's name should have been Demon Spawn.
The name has lingered for a few years. No, Archangel is not my real name, but I think there is a certain anonymity that has to be left when you write things or talk to people on the Internet. I guess it just adds to the wonder of it all. The chance of becoming something that you're not and the chance of meeting people who are not like you or anyone you know.
There lies the real power. Being able to be who we are or say who we want to be. We take a chance everytime we meet someone new on these things called blogs or chatrooms. We take a risk knowing that the person on the other end of the message box might not be the person that we think they are. However, we trust them enough that we talk to them and know that at anytime we're not comfortable with the conversation, we can block them from our messengers or just leave the chatroom altogether.
But what if, there was that one person in some part of the world whom we talked to and felt for some unknown reason they were who they say they were? That somehow it just felt so right to talk to them and let them know everything about you and have them give you their opinion about your life's problems.
I know what you're probably thinking. It's stupid to think that the person on the otherside cares and you should never let someone know everything about you. You're half right. You should never tell anyone where they can find you, or give out your phone numbers or any private information that only important people should know. The stranger you're talking to on the Internet is not important. But if we didn't reviel certain things about ourselves, how would we know we were different? How would we bond with each other? How would we make friends?
"Ok, Archangel, get to the point". The point is that not everything is as it seems. If we don't take that chance to find things that we didn't know existed, find people that we don't know are living, then we are doomed to die without being known. The worst feeling you will have in your life is knowing that you will die alone if you don't talk to people or make amends with the people that you hurt. I know first hand about everything that I speak of when I talk about this. I've had friendships that lasted for years with people far from me who were very much different then me and then I soon learned that they weren't. Part of the reason this blog has started is because those friendships are now over. The only thing that gets me by now is the fact that I eventually got to see who I was talking to the whole time. I waited six years for that moment in December and even though I will never get that chance again, I will take with me the memory of the day I took a chance. I took the chance to meet people from a place I didn't know existed. I found in me the strength to let go of my prejudice for people I didn't understand and those whom I scared of. I took a chance and I changed my life.
If you want to know how real I actually am, then the only thing stopping you from messaging me is you. I'm always waiting....
Until next time.
I guess I should introduce myself the proper way. My name is Archangel. Yes, I know that sounds strange for a person to be calling himself something of an angelic nature, but if it was completely strange then we wouldn't name our own children "Angel" and then later realize they are nothing of the sort. Trust me, I've known a few children who's name should have been Demon Spawn.
The name has lingered for a few years. No, Archangel is not my real name, but I think there is a certain anonymity that has to be left when you write things or talk to people on the Internet. I guess it just adds to the wonder of it all. The chance of becoming something that you're not and the chance of meeting people who are not like you or anyone you know.
There lies the real power. Being able to be who we are or say who we want to be. We take a chance everytime we meet someone new on these things called blogs or chatrooms. We take a risk knowing that the person on the other end of the message box might not be the person that we think they are. However, we trust them enough that we talk to them and know that at anytime we're not comfortable with the conversation, we can block them from our messengers or just leave the chatroom altogether.
But what if, there was that one person in some part of the world whom we talked to and felt for some unknown reason they were who they say they were? That somehow it just felt so right to talk to them and let them know everything about you and have them give you their opinion about your life's problems.
I know what you're probably thinking. It's stupid to think that the person on the otherside cares and you should never let someone know everything about you. You're half right. You should never tell anyone where they can find you, or give out your phone numbers or any private information that only important people should know. The stranger you're talking to on the Internet is not important. But if we didn't reviel certain things about ourselves, how would we know we were different? How would we bond with each other? How would we make friends?
"Ok, Archangel, get to the point". The point is that not everything is as it seems. If we don't take that chance to find things that we didn't know existed, find people that we don't know are living, then we are doomed to die without being known. The worst feeling you will have in your life is knowing that you will die alone if you don't talk to people or make amends with the people that you hurt. I know first hand about everything that I speak of when I talk about this. I've had friendships that lasted for years with people far from me who were very much different then me and then I soon learned that they weren't. Part of the reason this blog has started is because those friendships are now over. The only thing that gets me by now is the fact that I eventually got to see who I was talking to the whole time. I waited six years for that moment in December and even though I will never get that chance again, I will take with me the memory of the day I took a chance. I took the chance to meet people from a place I didn't know existed. I found in me the strength to let go of my prejudice for people I didn't understand and those whom I scared of. I took a chance and I changed my life.
If you want to know how real I actually am, then the only thing stopping you from messaging me is you. I'm always waiting....
Until next time.
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